Today I realize how blessed I am

Today I realized how blessed I am, actually every day is a blessing from God. All the textbooks, weblinks, even many Dr's say I shouldn't be here, and yet I am here. As my Daughter in law Kristi says, we continue to find the pearl in the sandstorm. I am nearing the 14 month mark. It is true, it is so hard to find hope when everywhere I look, it says hopeless, yet I have found hope for 14 months. I need to live my own advice, at the beginning of this journey, my first oncologist wanted to tell me how long I had, I told him I didn't want to know, and said to him, there was only one that knew the true answer to that and it wasn't him. I need to rely on him a whole lot more. That one is God. I know he is with me every step of this journey and only when he decides to take me from my earthly body to heaven, is the time when I will go. I need to rely on my knowledge of this even more.

I have learned so much about love and life. It's not about how clean your house is, if the toilet paper has to go turned up or down, or even about anything you own. It's about the people that touch you and the people you touch in your life time. Think back to when you were a child, think of the teachers that stand out in your mind, It's the same way throughout life. Everyone you come across will teach you something about life, good or bad, but they all create who you are., and everyone you come across, you will teach them something as well, good or bad. The rich man is no better than the homeless man. It really isn't about the storm but learning to dance in the rain.

On the health front, I am having a tough time getting thru these stomach issues but I am workig on them. I have a apt in Chicago on Monday to see the gastro dr that did my endoscopy so hopefully he can help a little more. I ended up in the local ER again today after I felt light headed and just not so great today. My magnesium was a little low, as were some of my other counts, but not better than they normally are 2 weeks after chemo. My platelets are in the don't play with knives stage but hopefully they will rebound before next week when I go for my 8th round of this chemo. My stomach gets unusually quiet mid day, and perhaps it is just normal, but for me, it is a bit scary for my stomach to suddenly go quiet when it is usually filled with motion I can feel. I have switched laxatives and am hoping for good results, no pain episodes today so that is a very good thing. I even ate 4 times today so that is a big thing for me to be able to do that.

The best part of my day was getting to see my grandson Korban(booga) today. He is 3 and he is filled with so much life. The sparkle in his eyes and the kisses he blew me completely made my day and my struggles all worth while.