I prayed three times today

These are the words my grandson, Skylar said to me. I rarely check my voicemails and when I did,I found a message from Skylar, crying, telling me he loved me, missed me and needed to talk to me... my heart sunk. Skylar is just 9 years old, his other grandma had breast cancer and he got to watch her brave her way back to good health, Skylar knew I have cancer too. I realize now he made that call after he was told I was in the hospital and not doing well. I called skylar immediately and he cried to me on the phone telling me how much he loves me and misses me and needs to see me, we set up for him to come over today to help carve a pumpkin an then he said i prayed 3 times today nana. I nearly couldn't keep it together. I told him to keep praying that God always listens tous when we pray. I realized then I had broken my grandsons heart. My precious 9 year old grandson was told the inevitable, that I was dying of my cancer. This breaks my heart. This precious child should NOT have to go thru this. he shouldn't have to hear this. I told his other grandma to make sure one day when things got bad to tell Skylar that her cancer wasnt like mine, as I dont want skylar to wonder if he will lose her too. I never thought I would have to face that day and I have. I have broken my tender hearted grandsons heart, I have stamped him with a stamp that will never disapear, I have now marked his life forever in a way I never ever wanted to impress on any child. This is the single hardest thing to have to do when it comes to cancer and dying, is to mark those sweet caring, impreshionable children. God, why do I have to do this to my babys? I don't understand anymore at all.
I am going to be carving a pumpkin with skylar this afternoon and i know it will be so different fromevery other year, for I have marked my grandson with a mark i never ever wanted to, the stamp of his Nana's cancer, the stamp that he knows now that Nana wont be like mamaw and spring back to life. This is the face of cancer I hate the worst, do anything you want to me, but not my babys, not my babys............I Love you Skylar more than life itself.