Off to Chicago tomorrow and reflections of the way it "used" to be

for my appt, with the gastro Dr. The weekend was filled with ups and down, pain episodes, feeling great enough to get out last night and take Skylar to a hockey game, more pain followed by pushing myself to get out today and take Mckayla and Korban to the pumpkin patch for pumpking picking, corn maze and face painting, oh and pumpkin cookies for the kids. It was fun to hang out with the grandkids throughout the weekend:) Sarah came down earlier so it was great to spend time with her even though I wasn't feeling the best. Hopefully the Gastro Dr can help us get all of this figured out. Thank God for my sister Sherry for coming down to get me and taking me up to Chicago tomorrow. The human spirit continues to amaze me with everyones support for me as I go thru all of this. It still feels surreal at times, all I can do is thank God for the love of those around me, the kindness of complete strangers as the benefit comes together and the presence of my loved ones. Again today I am blessed

Normal days don't seem, well no they aren't what they used to be. Even now, I feel like I have wasted so much time with the ones I love, I have this neat screen saver that goes thru all the pictures over the years on my computer and it still hits me that I was normal then, but wasted so much time, so much precious time. It brings life clearer that we never get a redo of even a second of our lives. Thank those around you, love those around you, and remember there are no redos when you go about your normal day, you never know when normal will change forever. One thing is for sure, life is so precious, I wish I hadn't wasted a second, a minute or even a day with those I love. I plan to remember this in whatever future I have left and hope if you are reading this, you will take it to heart and remember there aren't any redos, so make it your best second, minute or day.

I stopped for a minute tonite to reflect with Norm on how different my journey would be if only the Dr that did my colonoscopy 5 years ago would have found the tumor on my colon then, or perhaps it would have just been a polyp then, or perhaps which I doubt it wasn't even there then. I did all the right things and still slipped right thru the cracks. If that Dr would have found it then when I was 41 and had my first colonoscopy, my life would be so different now. It doesn't really matter now, or does it? Once again, there is no turning back time....precious seconds wasted day dreaming about if only they would have found this sooner, if it takes 10 years for a polyp to turn to cancer and I had a colonoscopy just 5 years ago, why, oh why am I where I am now? slipped right thr the cracks, and thinking about it doesn't change where I am today, just more wasted seconds ticking away from my life... I wonder if this is how my Mom felt, as she passed away at a mere 44 years old of this beast we call cancer. No more wasting precious seconds from my life clock..tick, tick, tick