Feeling Great

I feel great this morning. I guess this is a new great. I remember when I was dieting, it takes 21 days to make something a habit. I guess chemo has became a habit. I feel strong today. My legs feel good today. The Dr thinks my problem where my lower legs ache and just don' want to move is from they Oxylaplatin. One of the chemo drugs. I found out it actually contains platinum, no wonder it's so expensive!

My thoughts today are on Christmas. I love Christmas, Norm loves Christmas. It's always been a huge celebration with tons of gifts.. well until this year. I know the reason for the season.. but it's gonna be weird not having a tree filled with gifts for the grandkids. I know it doesn't matter, but it bothers me. I am trying to focus more on the here and now and am so happy I will be able to celebrate Jesus's birthday with my kids and grandkids, perhaps for the first time, it will be what it is supposed to be.

Kristi came over on thursday and decided to put up my small christmas tree. I was so glad, as I wasn't feeling very good. She always comes over the day after my chemo to take care of me and I just hope she knows how much I appreciate her. I hope everyone knows how much I appreciate them taking care of me, I know I am not the easiest to take care of, I know I cry too much and am probably a huge pain in the butt, but never once does anyone tell me that. Every second I am not alone I feel blessed.

Monday Dec. 10th will be my next CT scan. I am always afraid of the results but am praying for more shrinkage and some complete disapearance of tumors. I have to have complete disapearance of some tumors to get to surgery, I know with God anything is possible. Please continue to pray. I think how warped it sounds that I just want to have a surgery that could last many hours and hurt alot when I wake up from it, but that is the only way out of this cancer nightmare. Chemo only works for so long and then things grow again... so I am told. It almost scares me when I feel good today, because it makes me wonder... has the chemo stopped working already... but I know with God anything is possible