My husband

This is so tough on him. He trys to hide it so well, but I know it is there. He gets quiet and I know "it" is on his mind. Thank God he has his job and can get away. I am so afraid of leaving him alone someday. I am his strength and he is mine. I hate putting him thru this. This isn't the way it is supposed to be, we are supposed to grow old together. I love him to his core and I hope he knows how sorry I am for putting him through this, it's just not fair. I hope everyone knows how sorry I am for putting them through this, I hate not being able to clean, cook and even work. I HATE CANCER and even worse I HATE what it is putting my family through.

I hope one day I can just be me again, no pain, no chemo, no cancer. My 2 year old grandson said the other day on the phone.. nana still sick.... this precious baby should not have to go through this... I used to keep my grandkids alot of the time, now I just can't even count on how I will feel in the next hour. I miss being with them and having fun with them. My grandkids are the love of my life.

Life just isn't fair! I always thought it would happen to the other guy, this sure does teach me how life can flip in a second. Never miss a second living!