Lord give me patience

I am just feeling depressed today. Just sick of being sick and tired of being tired. I keep telling myself to fight but somedays I just need the Lord to give me patience. All good things come to those who wait right?

Honestly, I am starting to stress over my upcoming CT scan on monday. I just want to shake somebodys shoulders and say " hey do you see me breathing here, can ya maybe just take care of the problem so I can get back to normal life, give me the scalpel and I will do my own surgery" but obviously that won't work, I don't know what will work anymore... facing your own mortality isn't ever something your ever prepared for, nor is facing the fight of your life. I want just one normal day to know what was to come back in August, I can't have that now, I can only appreciate what I have... how do you appreciate cancer??????????? I HATE CANCER, I hate how it has changed me and I suppose I need to work on allowing it to change what it can not change and that is my mind... that is why todays title is Lord give me patience.

The serenity prayer works out great too, Accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Am I just too stupid to understand that there is no cure for cancer? But life goes on and "Hope" keeps ringing thru my head. I'm never to stupid or to smart to hope. It's what lifes all about