Sunday, November 9, 2008

The new chemo

This is bad, this new chemo is bad. I feel so sick, nausea, fever, tired, constipated, can't sleep, heart flutters, cant eat, cant drink. I dont know if I can do this, I have to find strength from God. I can't give up yet, but i want to. This is what cancer is all about and I don't like it. I can't imagine going thru this again in just 5 days.

It is obvious that my onc is top dog as he was refered to by the radiation oncologist. even though the radiation oncologist said in email i was perfect for sirspheres, he came in and said My tumors are small and Dr benson is doing what is best for me and if Dr benson feels i need sirspheres, he will get ahold of the radiation onc. As I said it is very apparant of the food chain, and Dr benson is at the top. I wont even get to see him for two weeks.

I am truly sick of being tired, and tired of being sick, it is times like these that i don't know if i can go on. It's not supposed to be this bad, there is no way. Please pray for relief from the symptoms this chemo has created, and for healing. I just don't know if I can do this anymore an i feel sad about it. God please give me another option that won't hurt so much.

If you have called and gotten no answer it's because I am just too weak to talk to the phone, I promise I will get back to you when I feel better, I don't like leaving anyone not knowing what is going on, but just feel so bad, it's hard to move. Please pray for my family, I feel so badly for them, they are as helpless as I am.........

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

... please God give Tami some relief and freedom from this cancer. Know we praying.

Nanc

Anonymous said...

Bless your heart, you've been through it. I'm praying that this chemo is killing cancer cells and your body is being healed. Also that you will get relief from these symptoms and that they will get easier as you go. I'm also praying for your doctors to make the best decision for you and for the Lord to give them the wisdom needed to do that.

I'm sending you a big hug and all the good thoughts and vibes I've got. I appreciate you letting us know what's going on even though I know you don't feel like it. Take care...Brenda

Anonymous said...

I have thought about you all weekend. I am still praying for your recovery...for you...for you kids and for your grandchildren. God holds you in the palm of His hand...relax in him. Only He knows the plans he has for you.
Praying for strength and relief for you.
Shelly

Anonymous said...

Tami,
Thats justlike you to care so much for your family that you are thinking of them and how they are. I pray that this treatment heals you and that you feel better soon,

Deb

Anonymous said...

Hang in there Tami, wishing you all the best, as always....
-- the lounge queen

Anonymous said...

Tami: as I have stated before. cancer stinks. hang in there girl. hopefully they will get the right treatment going for you. just keep thinking I know I can do this. and we all out here in blog land have the confidence that you can. .......Barb

Anonymous said...

Praying that you feel better VERY soon! You're such a fighter and you'll get through this too..even though you may get discouraged at times!

lizzy said...

Hang in there my dear friend. Keep looking up he has you in his arms. I pray for you all the time as do many. I hope today is a much better day for you. I pray the chemo next time around is easy for you. Yes I;m praying for your family as well. Love ya girl
In his name
love lizzy