What a week this has been. My birthday was great with all the kids and grandkids here. I started having some back pain on sunday and it has been off and on all week. Norm got the stomach flu late sunday so my sister Debbie came and whisked me off to her house. We had some wonderful times together. It's so fun to hang out with Debbie! I came home yesterday, still having this back pain. It's even keeping me up some at night so hopefully they can give me some stronger pain meds tomorrow because the collection I have here just isn't taking the pain away. I am scared for chemo tomorrow, not sure if they will keep me on the same as last time or jump to a new one since I have had so many side effects from this one.
Debbie is working like a wild woman on the benefit for me. There are so many people that are helping with it in one way or another, I am so thankful for each and every person. It is absolutely amazing that there are so many people that just want to help. Debbie was telling me and showing me some of the items that have been donated. It is amazing and I still have a hard time believing this is all real. Even after living with cancer for all these months, it's still so surreal to me. This benefit is my chance at being able to go abroad for treatment. I just have to keep hanging in there.
I am starting to realize that I just don't feel good anymore. I am hoping the Dr up there will start dealing with the main issue that is and has been causing me pain, my colon. As I said, I just don't feel well anymore. I am not even, well no let me say the truth, I don't even want to go to chicago cuz all they do is make me feel worse. A lot of insurance money has been spent and i still can't do the simple things that a Dr should be able to take care of like poop, and be somewhat pain free. I am depressed and I can't even see the top anymore. I don't even like to answer my phone anymore cuz I know whoever is on the other side of the phone I am going to bring them down with my misery cuz I just don't feel well. Well, my back is hurting again, time to go pray the pain goes away. I am so tired of pain, I am frustrated with my Dr and I am just down. I have to find a way to pull myself up again........Please pray for this pain to go away, and for me to find a little ray of sunshine in life. I know there are plenty of them, I am just having a tough time seeing thru the pain.
Psychic Kids
14 years ago
2 comments:
Glad you had time with Deb and got to kick back .... pray that Chicago will go better for you tomorrow than it has in the past .... it would hard not to have depression with all that you are going through and having pain makes it so much worse - think of things that have brought you joy in the past ... taking a trip down memory lane might relax you - sometimes that memory lane journey is bittersweet, just dwell on the happy times and pray for more good times to come.
Blessings,
Nanc
I'm so glad you had a happy birthday. Mine was Saturday.
Poor Norm...that stomach flu is bad but it sounds like you enjoyed your time with Debbie. I'm so sorry you are having that much pain and will pray that you get something that will bring you ease and soon...and find that little ray of sunshine you are needing.
The benefit sounds like it's going great. I just wish I was close enough to attend.
Tami you are in my thoughts and prayers on a daily basis and I appreciate you sharing how things are going with us. If there is anything you can think of that I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that you get some answers tomorrow...your friend, Brenda
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