My name made it up in the bright lights!

WOW! The power of people, continue to amaze me. My neices friend Autumn, used her connections and my benefit info with my name is showing up for 10 seconds of every minute on those digital ad boards in Peoria. I am famous! I am now also listed on http://centralillinoisproud.com/
with the benefit details. Simply amazing!
I hope to see many of you there, and have been asked if I will lbe there, and yes I plan to be there, probably won't last the whole night but God willing I will be there, even if I have to wear a surgical mask if my blood counts are really low. For more info and directions go to www.tamisbenefit.com Thank you to each of you who have donated, are going to the benefit or have helped to put the benefit together. It is overwhelming that there are so many people that care about me enough to pull off a benefit, and that there are so many people praying for me. Thank you all

My pain has returned off and on, still trying to get it figured out. It really is as if the lower part of my colon just shuts down, no exit, stop light, until it feels like working again, so hopefully this will work itself out.

I am excited for Thanksgiving! Last year I didn't think I would get to see another one and through many many prayers, I am here. I can remember years ago when the kids were little. We always just had dinner with the kids, but I can remember putting the turkey in the oven at o dark hundred in the morning so we could have a early dinner, and then watching the kids comb thru the newspaper ads to make their Christmas lists. Those were the days! This year will be a little different, as the kids will be doing most of the cooking, but as tradition has been since I have been with Norm, we will be making the stuffing. He has always helped me tear the bread cubes, tossing a cube now and then at the dogs and getting the biggest kick out of it. We will be missing our dear friend Gizmo this year who won't be here to catch the bread chunks, but it will be nice to continue the stuffing tradition with Norm. I don't think there has ever been a time when we didn't have Thanksgiving dinner at our house, and except for Sherri who lived in Texs for a few years, the kids have always been here. It will be a time of celebration, with 5 grandkids and 2 more on the way, and 2 step grandkids being added on in July when Eric gets married. WOW we are turning into a large family. I plan to enjoy every second I can with the kids, grandkids and Norm. I am even thinking of dawning a surgical mask and getting out to a store or two on friday morning. I don't get out much at all anymore, with the germs, and with the way I have been feeling, but I want Norm to feel a bit of "normal" Tami, and I think this is the perfect way.

I actually wrote this yesterday and never got to post it. We did hear back from another Dr in North Carolina that Norm sent my scans to, and this Dr says I am a excellent candidate for sirspheres for my liver tumors, Praise the Lord! It just so happens that this Dr practices at the same hospital that one of the few Dr's who does the hipec(heated chemo for the omentum) also works, so this could be my sign. We are definitely looking more into this. I just pray that my colon problems clear themselves up, I am still at a point of hurting from nothing going thru, hurting from making too much come thru with laxatives and a completely quiet stomach, so this has to be our first concern, finding a solution. My Dr has said in the past that if I would get a complete blockage, they may not do surgery for it, so this is weighing heavy on my mind.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoy the togetherness of family and friends. Make it a day to truly give thanks for life, and the company of family and friends. Remember to take time to enjoy the day, that really is what life is all about, not the hussle and bussle and OMG how am I going to get thru all of this, isn't it?

Can't keep me down forever

Thank you all for your comments, I really appreciate them. It is nice to know there is life outside of this house and that you all are praying for me. God gets me through each moment of each day and for this I am thankful.

I have devised my own plan, even though the on call Dr today, didn't agree..pfft

They did give me a stronger pain long acting pain patch, and short acting oxycodone without the tylenlol, well I should say the pain specialist did. They also gave me some kind of steroid that is for severe allergies and takes your immune system down.

I tried going without my colon relaxer med friday night and it was horrible, I really thought I was dying, my body bloated up with gas that was going no where and at 2 am I begged Norm to take me to the hospital, thankfully he didn't and we worked through it. I was so exhausted. I went off the long acting oxycodone friday but by last night, I was feeling out of my mind, like I had lost my mind, anxious and realizing it was probably detox from that I took a half one. I did not start the long acting pain patches, honestly I dont feel I need them, and I just started the lon acting oxycodone when I was in the hospital so thought well if I can get off those maybe this back pain would go away, and guess what? It did, my bowels were working again, just cutting that out, or down as I had to have another half this morning as I felt out of my mind crazy again.
So I will talk to the pain specialist tomorrow morning and see what she sugggests but I went back on the colon relaxer, I have to eat and this pill is important to allow that to happen without pain, I didn't even start the steroid whatevers nor the long acting pain patch. I just don't feel I need them, and the pain was coming from my back and lower stomach hurting which I feel was caused by so many drugs putting my colon to sleep. My only downfall is I have 3 of the long acting oxycodone left so not much to do weaning, but as I said God will get me through this.

I am going to look for another Dr, I don't like the way the Dr said chemo doesn't usually work on my tumors, and I don't like what he had to say, I have to find someone that will give me hope. The benefit couldn't come at a better time as this will give us the finances to go somewhere else.

Please pray for the strength for me to get thru pulling myself off of this long acting oxycodone, and feeling better again. My biggest problem is this feeling like I am going to have a panic attack and it is scary, very scary. I have apologized to Norm a million times for this as I can't imagine having to watch me act like i have lost my mind.

A HUGE thank you to each person that has or is donating for my benefit, for each person that is helping in one way or another or a million ways, and even if you are just planning on coming to my benefit, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I can't wait to see everyone and I can't thank you enough, it touches me so deeply and even the benefit seems as if it was planned for the perfect time as it is going to allow us to keep going, searching and hopefully conquering this cancer. I also need prayers to feel well enough to come to the benefit this coming saturday, I can't even think of not being there to thank everyone for all of their hard work. People are amazing, and again I can't thank you enough for pulling this together.

I also guess I left it questionable in my last post as to if I had chemo or not, Yes I did have chemo, at least it's a chance, and I have to keep fighting and take every chance I can, I did it without the normal nausea premeds as I didn't want the constipation, steroid stay awake feeling. The schedule right now, which wasn't even explained to me is for me to go back up for chemo on the 5th and 19th of december for chemo, as I said they never explained why they changed the schedule and at neither of those appt;s do I see the Dr so not happy about that.

Again, thank you all for your prayers, and well wishes, they mean so much to me. It is mind boggling the number of people I have praying for me, Live strong, strive for memories with your loved ones, as the holidays approach remember, the best thing you can give anyone is your time, memories matter most. As I said at my birthday, all I want is another birthday, and all I want for christmas is time with family and friends. I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me to see a comment on here, to have my phone ring or to have someone over. Loneliness is the worst thing in the world when you are faced with what I am, and God has really been taking care of me not being lonely, please don't be afraid to come and see me or to call me, I am not "up" all the time, but hearing a voice or seeing a face means the world to me. It's when things are quiet here that I get scared.

If you don't know Jesus Christ as your saviour, please get to know him, he is there for us always.

how to kick a horse when they are down already

1- tell them that chemo generally doesn't work for "these" type of tumors, then ask would I like
to go ahead with chemo
2- tell them the reason for all of their pain is from pain medicines, so the pain meds need to be
stopped, all of them, including the one that relaxes the colon, because the colon isn't working
right, is sluggish or may not be pushing food thru at all. no worries right? why would i be
taking pain meds anyway? oh and then later, have the nurse shove a bone scan order at
me, even though that would have been a first choice before pulling all pain meds
3- tell them hipec is for ovarian cancer patients with much smaller tumors than mine, even
though I could have shared the 23 year old male that had hipec several months ago, and I
dont even think he has ovaries, or the other cases i know about that all have colon cancer
that have had hipec to get rid of omentum metasis.

enuf said.. chemo is done, I am down, Norm is completely silent and hasn't uttered a word for hours, can I ask for anymore while
I am down here?

Chicago tomorrow,

What a week this has been. My birthday was great with all the kids and grandkids here. I started having some back pain on sunday and it has been off and on all week. Norm got the stomach flu late sunday so my sister Debbie came and whisked me off to her house. We had some wonderful times together. It's so fun to hang out with Debbie! I came home yesterday, still having this back pain. It's even keeping me up some at night so hopefully they can give me some stronger pain meds tomorrow because the collection I have here just isn't taking the pain away. I am scared for chemo tomorrow, not sure if they will keep me on the same as last time or jump to a new one since I have had so many side effects from this one.

Debbie is working like a wild woman on the benefit for me. There are so many people that are helping with it in one way or another, I am so thankful for each and every person. It is absolutely amazing that there are so many people that just want to help. Debbie was telling me and showing me some of the items that have been donated. It is amazing and I still have a hard time believing this is all real. Even after living with cancer for all these months, it's still so surreal to me. This benefit is my chance at being able to go abroad for treatment. I just have to keep hanging in there.

I am starting to realize that I just don't feel good anymore. I am hoping the Dr up there will start dealing with the main issue that is and has been causing me pain, my colon. As I said, I just don't feel well anymore. I am not even, well no let me say the truth, I don't even want to go to chicago cuz all they do is make me feel worse. A lot of insurance money has been spent and i still can't do the simple things that a Dr should be able to take care of like poop, and be somewhat pain free. I am depressed and I can't even see the top anymore. I don't even like to answer my phone anymore cuz I know whoever is on the other side of the phone I am going to bring them down with my misery cuz I just don't feel well. Well, my back is hurting again, time to go pray the pain goes away. I am so tired of pain, I am frustrated with my Dr and I am just down. I have to find a way to pull myself up again........Please pray for this pain to go away, and for me to find a little ray of sunshine in life. I know there are plenty of them, I am just having a tough time seeing thru the pain.

Current ramblings

My little granddaughter McKayla was pretty sick from the stomach flu, sick enough to require being put in the hospital for fluids. Thankfully, praise God, she is at home now and doing much better. She is the sweetest little angel and I am thankful she is doing much better. It's tough to see a little one down and out. I didn't get to go see her, but talked to her and she sounded sooooo sick. Yesterday her requests from us were red and purple gatorade and blue popsicles, of coarse we obliged:) We kept little brother Korban while sissy was in the hospital, what a sweetheart he is. I feel so horrible that we have not gotten to have near as many nights at NaNa's as we used to. I hope we can improve on this. We used to keep the kids at least once a month overnight and that just hasn't happened since I have been sick. It actually made me feel better and took my mind off of my own sickness having Korban here. 3 years olds say the cutest things.

This has been a trying last couple of weeks for me emotionally as well as physically. I keep trying to pray to God everytime I feel scared, which is helping alot. I can't seem to get a good nights rest anymore, no matter how much medicine I take, I really think this is causing alot of my problems as my body and my mind need rest. I am to the point of almost having panic attacks, perhaps it is too much medicine in my body. I am going to talk to the Dr about a sleeping pill, perhaps that is my answer. I seem to spend all day trying to get the sleep I didn't get the night before and using various pain meds and crazy pills to accomplish this and it just isn't working.

My family continues to be here for me. This is so tough on them, please pray for peace for them as well. All of the kids will be here later for a small birthday celebration. I don't get to see the kids nearly as much as I want, so this will be a welcome day hanging out with all of them.

I am scared about Chicago next week, scared of what the Dr may say. I still am not sure if I can do this new chemo. I wonder if I didn't get a bit of the stomach flu and perhaps that is what made the week so bad physically rather than the chemo, so I am not sure if we will restart this chemo or what.

We continue to look at other options cautiously, we don't want to rush into something, like we did with surgery only to have it be the wrong choice. We are going to send my scans, etc to a Dr in North Carolina and also plan to look further into hipecc, the heated chemo for my omentum. I realize I give up way too easily and when I want something, I want it now, thankfully Norm grounds me to look at the whole picture, thank God. We know we have a great Dr in Chicago, but want all of the options we can get, but we need to understand them. As Norm, said of coarse we can find someone to do whatever, if we look long enough, but we need to make sure, since the surgery turned out to be not the best idea. Although I know I had to have the colon tumor removed, as Norm pointed out, they could have did the hipec then at the same time as my surgery.

So, I am asking for lots of prayers for our visit in Chicago this weekend. I am not sure which way our journey is headed and am extra scared. Hotel rooms are crazy up there right now with the holidays and so we will be going up and coming right back home the same day. It is tough to get chemo and endure the drive home, but money is tight enough and rooms are high enough that I am just going to have to endure the ride.

I want to really acknowledge how tough this journey is on Norm. He doesn't get a break from it except to go to work and we all know that isn't a break. Some days, well more days than not, he is my lifeline, I look to him for love, encouragement and hope. Some days, he is able to handle it, and some days he isn't. I dont give him near enough credit for hanging in there with me. I am glad he is my life partner and I love him so very much. I put way too much on his plate and expect way too much from him. I expect him to figure out the answers for me, and as we have learned, sometimes the answers just aren't there and I need to use patience, look to God and know he solves everything in his time, not in mine.

After rereading this post, I realize I need to talk with God alot more, that he can and will help me get through these seemingly impossible emotional times, and I need to thank God alot more for all of the blessings he has given me in my life.

I also realize that I have made blossom, my littlest dachshund spoiled rotten. Where I go, so does she. The other night when I was having a emotional breakdown, I sat in the floor and just cried, and in between my legs sat my little precious blossom. She just wants to be with her mommy, so I carry her everywhere I go, I do mean everywhere, she crys if she is not on my lap constantly, and yes she is on my lap right now, when I get up, so does she. the poor dog must be wore out!

Just a update

I still feel cruddy. I now have a rash to go along with the other chemo side effects. I think I just about have all of the side effects now, did I say this is not fun? I know it's not supposed to be fun, but I really don't think I can do this chemo. I talked to the nurse this morning and they want me to hold off Chemo this week and then see the Dr next week to figure out where to go from here. I feel like I am losing hope every second of every day. I feel like I have to make them understand that their are other options for me. I research them every day, every night, I am so frustrated, feeling like I am slipping between the cracks, with noone noticing at all. Losing hope, one breath at a time, one second at a time and I can't take it.

I guess to think positive this will be a happy birthday present to me, no chemo this week, since my birthday is this weekend, but I feel like I should be going for chemo, sucking it up, doing it anyways, thats the way we fight right? Or is my vision so clouded from this cancer that I can't even see when death would be a better option than this horrible type of chemo?
I am scared, I am lonely, today, I am cancer. I hate days like this.

The benefit is coming along nicely with my sister Debbie at the reigns. While donations for the auction are booming, not many tickets have been sold. If you are planning on attending, please let us know. We need ticket sales badly. There is going to be so many nice items up for auction at the benefit and so many have spent their time recruiting donations, now we need lots of people to attend. The benefit still feels so weird, I know it is needed, I know it is needed, I know I need it, but it feels weird when your name is the one on a benefit. I guess it's no different now, you always expect it to to be the other person, you always expect to be the one helping out with a benefit, not the one benefiting from the benefit.

I think part of my family thinks I have lost my mind, maybe I have and I don't even know it. I think it's what cancer has emotionally done to me, to Tami... I wish I could just wish this away, wish it away from myself and everyone I know that is affected by cancer affecting me. If only I could just wish it away, if only I could just beat it, there I said it, but i am a realist and I know that doesn't happen to people like me. What's the saying, if it wasn't for bad luck I'd have none? Ya I know I am so blessed from everyone who cares about me to even have them in my life, but I would much rather have them in my life, living life. Going to dinner, or going shopping or just a normal conversation on the phone, just living life, that's the way it's supposed to be, and that is when I question my motivation to fight this disease when I see everything it has done to me and to so many around me. I know they wouldn't say out loud that they wish I had done it any other way, but perhaps if I had stopped fighting, they would be on their way to healing now. I hate that they still have to go through even more with me, I pray that maybe, just maybe by some small miracle that I can be the lucky one, I can be the one that gets that miracle called cure. What I would give to have normal moments again..........
Cherish your life, Cherish your family and your friends, cherish the normal day to day things you do, you never know when something will happen and there won't be a normal anymore and you will miss the stupid little normal things you complain about. Make Memories with those around you.... do it now while you still can. I was just living life when something came into my life that made normal obsolete.. it is called cancer

Still not 100%

This day started off on a bad foot. I didn't get but maybe 20 minutes sleep all night last night with my stomach swollen and hurting. This morning I got up and knew I had to take some extra laxatives to get things moving so I called chicago and they recomended I try magnesum citrate, which I took, knowing it usually takes `12 hours for it to work. Took a pain pill and about half hour later, had to run for the bathroom. Not for the end your thinking. I am never a puky type of person, well I was this morning, the mag citrate didn't stay where it was supposed to. So then I was really scared, thinking I must have a blockage. I called chicago again and the nurse told me to go to the er, I asked if I could try a enema first, which they said yes, but don't mess around with this it could be a blockage. The enema worked! No more throwing up. My stomach is still really sore but hopefully I am on the mend. I am still running a fever from chemo I presume, and I am not sure if chemo will happen this week or not. This chemo is definitely tougher on me than I am used to. I hope we can find another answer and many options somewhere down the road. Somedays it feels like the road is getting ready to end and it makes me sad. I need to pin our Dr down a bit more and find out what is left for me and why he is so opposed to the sirspheres and hipec for me. They both seem like amazing miracle drugs and I want to know why they won't work for me. Thanks for the prayers, they definitely got me thru this morning, along with Kristi coming over and helping me. Poor Kristi probably never imagined she'd be helping her mother in law get a enema, thank god for her!

The new chemo

This is bad, this new chemo is bad. I feel so sick, nausea, fever, tired, constipated, can't sleep, heart flutters, cant eat, cant drink. I dont know if I can do this, I have to find strength from God. I can't give up yet, but i want to. This is what cancer is all about and I don't like it. I can't imagine going thru this again in just 5 days.

It is obvious that my onc is top dog as he was refered to by the radiation oncologist. even though the radiation oncologist said in email i was perfect for sirspheres, he came in and said My tumors are small and Dr benson is doing what is best for me and if Dr benson feels i need sirspheres, he will get ahold of the radiation onc. As I said it is very apparant of the food chain, and Dr benson is at the top. I wont even get to see him for two weeks.

I am truly sick of being tired, and tired of being sick, it is times like these that i don't know if i can go on. It's not supposed to be this bad, there is no way. Please pray for relief from the symptoms this chemo has created, and for healing. I just don't know if I can do this anymore an i feel sad about it. God please give me another option that won't hurt so much.

If you have called and gotten no answer it's because I am just too weak to talk to the phone, I promise I will get back to you when I feel better, I don't like leaving anyone not knowing what is going on, but just feel so bad, it's hard to move. Please pray for my family, I feel so badly for them, they are as helpless as I am.........

More arrows in the road of Life

Well as expected my regular oncologist says no to sirspheres, he says I need systematic chemo because of the spread of my cancer. So... we now have some decisions to make. We have some additional radiation oncologist emails from different parts of the united states so we are going to confer with them and see what they have to say. I also found out last night that there is a Dr in colorado that deals with the peritoneal mets, and was even told that many times they will use cyberknife if there are only a few rather than the 12 hour hipec heated chemo into the belly surgery, so there are options, it's just my oncologist doesnt' agree with the options. So we are faced with many decisions, please pray we get the knowledge to make the right choices. We aren't even sure if the radiation onc. that we talked to will go ahead if we choose to go with sirspheres since he knows my onc isnt in agreement and they are both from Northwestern.

We head to Chicago today to prepare for what will be my 4th type of chemo, 20th treatment in 14 months. WOW, thats a mouthful huh? Please pray for this chemo to go smooth with no reactions and easy side effects. It's always scary starting a new chemo, not knowing what to really expect and praying and hoping it will work.

I am still experiencing this pain that I think is a bladder infection so we will get a culture on that tomorrow as well.

I had a wonderful time with Liz, janice and Heather yesterday. For a while the cancer was gone and it was just 4 friends hanging out. That's the way it's supposed to be. I look forward to more moments like that! Thank you all for taking time from your busy schedules to come hang with me!

Barb, thank you so much for the cap you made me. I will wear it proudly, it means so much knowing you made it, Thank you so very much:) Everyone around me says I shouldn't shave my head yet, but my pillow full of hair tells me different, I am sure I will be shaving it soon

To my FoHo Gals, you know who you are, your the best! Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers and thanks for your offer to take care of personal business for me, THAT brings a HUGE smile to my face.

Onward we go, thru the path of life, may it bring the decisions we need, present challenges we can handle and give us time to stop and smell the daffodils along the way!

The good and the bad of it

Well, Norm talked to the radiation oncologist yesterday and he said I definitely would benefit from the sirspheres liver directed chemo beads... but he wants to make sure my reg oncologist is on board and that is where I think we will have the problem. Had we did this months ago, then we would only be dealing with the new cancer, and though only done in a few places in the U.S, they do something called heated chemo where they go in and pour hot chemo directly on the peritoneal cancer. So all we can do is hope and pray that we can get to a answer to help us. Chemo is on friday so I am sure we will be discussing this then.

I had the best time yesterday with my friend Liz. She came over and hung out with me and it was a lot of fun just talking about old times. She called me this morning and is coming back this afternoon and bringing even more old friends so it should be a lot of fun! I can't wait. No loneliness for me today:)

I have been having some pain issues since last night, I think maybe I have a bladder infection or at least I hope it's not cancer problems with my bladder. I have taken liquid moriphine twice trying to get rid of the pain. It is so weird the way medication works on me now. It eitherworks immediatley or takes hours to work, and sometimes it is like I have taken too much because it all hits at one time. I think this must have something to do with my sometimes slow digestion, so I am going to talk to the Dr about this as well. I am going to ask for the pain patch, at least that doesn't have to be digested to work. It scares me that I will overdose because of my slow digestion.

The weekend

First off, thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your comments. I am glad I have made a thumbprint on some of your lives. Please, also take your health seriously. Colon cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death, please get your colonoscopies, and if you feel something isn't right, dont stop til you figure it out. I am not sure my story would have changed much, but it is said it takes 10-15 years for a polyp to grow into cancer. Since I had a colonoscopy just 4 years before diagnosis, it probably wouldn't have changed my story, unless it was missed then, but if it had been detected then, they simply would have plucked the polyp out and life would be normal for me now. I wouldn't be looking at the end of my life at 46 years old. Don't think for a second your too young for colon cancer! You would be amazed at all the 30 years and up I have met since my cancer journey began, that started off the same as me, stage iv. Take care of yourselves, it could make the difference between life and death, literally!

For Christmas this year, well it's going to happen a little early for a few of the grandkids. I bought some lip balm making stuff for me and my two grandaughters to make together. They will have enough to hand out to friends for Christmas if they want, or enough to last a long time, I hope the memory of making it with me lives on for a long long time. I also got sock monkey making kits coming to make with McKayla, DeAnn and Korban. Again, it's the memory I want to create with them. I think back to most Christmas times and the hussle and bussle of shopping for so much stuff, and ya know what? I can't remember any more of what we bought than can anyone it was bought for. Times are tough, and time is short, so I have decided to do things with everyone I love that will make memories. Who wouldn't rather hang out with little girls making stuff than being in that mess we call Christmas frenzy to buy the best, the biggest, and for what? Homemade has always been best to me, memories well youcan't top memories.

Saturday was so nice, I got out with Nancy H to go check out the place for the benefit with my sister. It still feels weird, the whole benefit, and I still cry everytime I think of the generosity of people using their time and resources on me, but it also touches me deeply that they want to do this for me. I also got to sell a few candles at a craft show my other sister sherry was at. That was the most awesome thing to sell what I created oh so many years ago, I am so proud of Sherry for carrying on GrubbyLand Candles. It felt so good to do thru my sales speel and sell a few candles. I miss it so much.

Today I woke up hurting, well actually all throughout the night, so after taking pain meds and being so tired, the pain has went away and left me nauseated and feverish. So I have just kicked back and taken it easy most of the day. My aughter Sherri and baby RJ did come over earlier so it was great to see them.

I went thru a feel sorry for myself time last night. I was so lonely, none of the kids had called all day, and I was just sad about it, so I journaled, and I prayed and two minutes later Kristi called, and then Sarah called, so it was great to hear from both of them.

Some of the kids have asked for a recording of my voice so while I was gone yesterday, sweet Norm bought me a digital voice recorder. Ya know just when you want to say, Norm, we don't have the money for stuff like that, you just gotta smile and be thankful for the memories it will leave and worry about the money later. I have already recorded myself singing twinkle twinkle little star. I have sang that song to each one of my grandchildren and don't plan on stopping even if I am not here, NaNa will be singing twinkle twinkle, and I will be watching down on all my precious babies. Thy say kids can communicate with you once your gone, and I hope I get the opportunity to whisper in their ears one day just how much I love and miss them. oth Sherri and Sharon(Erics girlfriend) are pregnant and due next year and Sarah will be the greatest Mommy ever one day, so I know Nana will get to at least sing twinkle twinkle little star to all of my grandchildren, no matter what. So, Norm, instead of complaining about the money you spent, all I am gonna say is Thank You for helping me to create lasting memories.
I know I will forever miss my family in a heartbeat. I know that one day, they will join me in heaven for eternity and that is the only part of this that makes it even close to bearable.

Off for nap time....