I know it has been a while since I posted. The last few weeks have been full of stress, hopefully the next few weeks will be much calmer. My blood counts were lower than ever on wednesday, but fridays blood tests were who knows, they drew from my arm and everything was great, then drew from my port when i asked how my platelets could go from 90 on wednesday to 140, and the results from the port draw came back low on everything, so who knows, they said perhaps it was because they flushed the port before drawing. I ended up having chemo on friday and we actually found a hotel, not cheap but a hotel right across the street, I was glad to have a place to rest, chemo really wipes me out. My blood counts are not great at all and now my Dr is saying he doesn't want to give me shots to increase my counts as they are seeing new research that says the shots have lots of complications, only problem is my counts can't continue to fall. So, we shall see how things go, I may decide to give myself a extra week before next chemo round if my blood counts stay low. I dont want the chemo to kill me off. Guess I am on germ patrol again.
In the life of cancer, you find people like yourself to talk to, they know best what you are going thru, and it scares me to even do that anymore. In the last 3 weeks, I have lost two wonderful gals that were going thru the same cancer battles as myself. It's not a good thing when everyone you share with is dying off.... it's depressing.really depressing. Both of these wonderful women were just 37 years old with kids, young kids. Life just isn't fair. cancer just isn't fair, as my daughter in law told me the other day, i feel like her, i want to jump up and down and scream it's just not fair. How do I say we are only promised today, no promises for tomorrow, but if that is true, how do you live today not knowing if there will be a tomorrow? i guess i can't even live out my own words of wisdom, because i have to live like there will be a tomorrow, in order to actually live today, does that even make any sense at all? I don't know how my family puts up with me, because most days I make no sense at all anymore, I am thankful they do though, i couldn't endure this alone.
Psychic Kids
14 years ago
2 comments:
Hey Tami, just try to stay positive. I know it's easier said than done, but try. I have you on lots of prayer lists here in the Village. You know this is the heart of the Bible belt!!!! Everyone is praying for you to beat this. Glad you found a place to stay close.
Maybe made is somewhat better for you. I've introduced some of my clients to your candles. They love them and they are praying too... Love Patti in Arkansas
Thanks Patti for putting me on all of your prayer lists. I know only one thing for sure, prayer has kept me here this long, I am glad you like grubbyland candles, I am kinda partial to them myself:)
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