The good, the bad and the port hole

It was a great weekend. My family takes such good care of me. I even forgot for awhile that I had cancer. Debbie, my sister has always been the goof ball in the family, always making a reason to laugh and it worked all weekend! It was so great to see my brother and his wife Phyllis, I miss him already and he just left yesterday. He is my big brother and he trys so hard to take care of me. We did dinner at my other sister Sherry's and it was wonderful to get together with all my brothers and sisters.... I cried when I left their house wondering if I will ever be at a family gathering again... They all love me so much. I hope next year we can do thanksgiving at my house.

I had to go to the surgeon yesterday because my port incision has been open in just a tiny place and I realized a stitch is trying to pop thru. He removed the stitch leaving a hole. He said with the avistin(part of my chemo) healing takes so much longer. He also said that the whole thing could just pop wide open and they would have to replace the port... so I am praying that doesn't happen.

I also on a whim called Carle clinic. This is where I had my first colonoscopy. I just wanted to find out how long ago it had been, thinking surely it had been at least 7 years ago, maybe longer. I was shocked when they told me I had the colonoscopy in 2002... only 5 years ago. They didn't say it, but I wonder, did he miss the polyp that turned into cancer in me? Some Dr's say it takes 10 to 15 years for a polyp to turn into cancer. Back in 2002, the Dr made the comment that I shouldn't have been sent for a colonoscopy before they had tried other things to remedy my diarrea. Maybe he rushed through my colonoscopy and missed the most important thing. It really just sucks so bad, because my mind always says what if.. and this brings about another what if. Of coarse it doesn't change where I am now, all I can do is believe that God is healing me and the chemo is working. I know it is, I just know it is

Thank you all for your prayers and good wishes. I appreciate them and need them so badly. Please feel free to leave comments on my blog. Every email, comment and card help me to hang on.

Chemo is tomorrow