Even though there have been lots of emails and even a phone call to Chicagoland speedway,nothing has been returned so it's not looking like I will be waving the flag this weekend. It's ok. It's one of those silly things anyways.
I am getting a wheelchair for the weekend but for just in case I need it. I already look like the sick one, I don't want to draw any more attention than need be so hoping I dont have to use the wheelchair but will have one in case I need it. Truth is, I don't like playing the "c" card. I've always been a just deal with it kinda person and now is no different. It is so crowded at the races just walking I can't imagine having to do it in a wheelchair. I feel pretty strong this week so hoping to just go up and have a wonderful time with my hubby and sister. Then it will be back to reality with the CT scan on Monday. I keep thinking of a way to make these damn scans not mess with my mind so much. Truth is, they are the only peek into what's going on inside that we get. Scary thing is one damn test can tell me bettr than a fortune teller what or how long my future is. I would rather be taking a different kind of test, a test that doesn't have to determine my lifespan.
I look forward to "normal" moments in life now more than I ever did before. "normal" moments provide my mind with the way things are supposed to be, just moving along in life, so these are the things that get me thru right now. I know I have cancer, it is with me constantly, like I have been branded forever, but need those "normal' moments to steal me away from reality, and really the reality is, I am still living today, so that is good.
We are going ahead with the Tami's cancer kickin candle, notice I never ever caitalize cancer, I refuse to give it any respect. The candle will be cobalt blue since that is the color givento colon cancer, like pink is for breast cancer, etc. It is a blend I have been making up for myself forever, lots of spice with a hint of bakery and I burn it year round. Those will be available August 1 on the website http://www.grubbylandcandles.com/ We have decided to donate a portion of the proceeds to some organization for cancer, probably the colon cancer alliance, or perhaps St Judes as I really want kids to benefit far before I would. I'm not sure if you've visited Norm's blog, but he hits the nail on the head. I don't believe anyone knows how much red tape there is to cancer until they have gone through it, and I don't believe they will ever find a cure, it's just too big of a business now, and that is where the red tape lays, in the hands of the millions of researchers and Drs etc that make a living treating cancer. If these were the old days when they figured out penicillin, perhaps we'd already have a cure, but in todays world theres just too much money being shelled out for treatment, and way too few actual cures. I've read of so many procedures that work, but they are all in other countries, because of all the red tape the fda puts on products here, we will probably never see many of those. There is a treatment that is tried and true in sweeden for colon cancer, but something we will probably not see here for many many years to come. Everyone, including myself can't afford to go to sweeden for treatment. Even at the national asco conference, it was said there just weren't any big news to report, which makes ya wonder, why not? Frustrating? Ya, sometimes just tired of falling through the cancer cracks, hoping to continue to win battles one at a time, but know in the end the war will be won by the bastard we call cancer....
Enjoy every moment life brings you, if you haven't had a colonoscopy, get one, it could save your life. Listen to your body, that's why we pay the big bucks for insurance, if something doesn't feel right, get it checked out, don't listen to any Dr if it doesn't feel right, earlier diagnosis could have made such a difference for me, for my famiy and even for those that read here daily. Thanks all for your prayers, I know I sound down in this post, just stressing about upcoming ct scan and what it could mean
Psychic Kids
14 years ago
5 comments:
Well Tami it's their loss if they miss out on this opportunity to have such a cute flag waving girl. Hopefully your guy will win and the three of you will have a ball at the races.
I'm right there with you on the fact that cancer is a money making business. It follows right along with so many other things in this country that big business has got a grip on.
The candle sounds delish! You know you are teasing me with that secret blend LOL. I need something different to burn for a change...need inspiration badly.
As always, yoou are in my thoughts and prayers for good results...Brenda
Your post doesn't sound "down" to me, it's normal. Every week, heck...every day has its' ups and downs.
I'm glad you're taking the wheelchair with you, even if you don't use it....it will just be there in case you get a little tired.
You're so right about cancer being such a big business. it seems out of control even. Not doing much good for the people that need it. There was an article I read recently that made me so uptight about the fda - concerning drug trials. The article raised hackles on the back of my neck - it said there was a cure for macular degeneration (Leads to blindness) but they were not even attempting to push up the dates on the clinical trials and no big drug company seemed to want to make it that quickly either....not enuff $$$$ in it and the trials would be so far off. What is wrong with this picture!!!! Geez!
I'm loving the sound of your candle, gotta have it.....does it have just a few drops of amish harvest in it????/ I always look for clues, ya know.
Tami I just have to tell you that all those years we emailed back and forth, I pictured you as a short dark haired woman...LOL. Boy was I ever wrong. Maybe it was because I was a short dark haired woman? Well now I'm a short gray haired woman.
Anyway when you posted the pic of you and Norm in front of Kurt's booth I was blown away by how much you look like one of my father's cousins, Jodi. The tilt of your head, the smile, your hair...just unbelievable. Even your height and build. You could pass for her daughter so easily. If I had a pic, I would send it so you could see.
I started not to say anything but every time I click on your blog and see that picture, I'm just amazed by the resemblance.
OOOPS...the post above is me....Brenda
Tami: I still think there is a chance you might be waving that flag. don't ask me why, I just think it might happen. and if it doesn't so be it, you will all have a good time. hope that your guy wins. as for the candle, can't wait to smell it and of course to burn it. I think at our party in September I'll buy a cancer kickin candle when Shari gets there and burn it for the guests to smell. we"ll sell a bunch of those for you hopefully. I'm telling everybody about the new cancer kickin candle. and take note I did not capatalize the bad word (cancer). it stinks. have fun tommorrow. Barb
Post a Comment