Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Not even sure what to say anymore

I went to my local oncologist yesterday, it just gets worse evrytime I see a Dr. he said they just don't operate on small cell cancer because you cant recover quick enough to get back to chemo. he doesn't believe it is just small cell neuroendocrine because i wouldn't still be here and the chemo did shrink the tumors which shrinkage wouldn't show on a path report. he said basically I have one more option of chemo, they will probably only be able to give me 3 to 6 rounds at most because your body just can't handle it, it works about half the time, could put me into remission, more circles that I call cya. Really sent me into a downward spin.

Ultimately it is up to God how long I am here, I don't feel ready to die, but will I or is anyone ever ready to die?

I have an apt with the only specialist here in Illinois for next friday. That is a miracle in itself as they wanted to give me an appt in July. Thank God norm has been talking with that Dr for a few months. I pray he has more answers and more options for me. I am placing a lot of faith in him and I am praying to God to let this Dr be my answer. I want to continue to live life.

Thank you to my family for taking such good care of me, for being there, for the phone calls and the hugs. I am so sorry to put you all through this but am so glad I have you for this journey. I could have never ever gotten this far without all of you.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Tami: Jackie is flying out to California today to attend thier race for the cure, then whem she gets back Jackie and I will go to Peoria for the race. that one is awesome and very emotional, especially when the bagpipes play. I lose it every time when I hear the bagpipes. hang in there girl. good look at the cancer specialist. Barb