1 week

Well it's Friday, tomorrow it will have been one week since Tami left. Everyone has been really supportive so far, and its been nice having the parents here. I've been sleeping, although I only have managed twice in my own bed so far. Last week at this time I was sleeping on the couch with Tami, her repeatedly squeezing my hand thru the night, looking back its like she knew, I dunno.

I am not sure its fully sunk in yet, I mean with my parents here and everyone being around its been a bit of a buffer, all that will die down soon and I will be alone in this house. It's a little scary to be honest. I am sure I can keep myself busy with any number of things but I don't know that it will help.

I had a nice lunch with Eric today, I hope to hang out with him and the rest of the kids more going forward. Mckayla and Korban are here tonight, spending the night. Its nice, but I still feel like a piece is missing. We were washing Korban's hands in "Nana's" bathroom, and in the corner were a pair of Nana's slippers. Korban asked whose those were and I said they were Nana's. Korban said God better come get those slippers for Nana. How do you not just melt? We proceeded to discuss all the things they already had in heaven, I assured both kids Nana has more than we have down here, I also said that Gizmo was there with her, and that made them happy.

I dunno, I feel the worst is yet to come for me, I feel like the private melt downs I have had are just the start, the distractions I have managed to keep throwing up will eventually run out, sooner or later Sarah and Josh or KJ and Kristi will get sick of me, gawd I am the odd man again, the third wheel, this just blows my mind still. I am still waiting for Tami to come down the hall telling me to get my butt off the computer.