6 Months ago today

6 Months ago today I found out I had a mass in my colon and spots on my liver. It would be 12 more days until I was told it was cancer. I am so thankful for life. I have learned so much in the last 6 months. I never ever imagined 6 months ago how awful our health care system really is. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for our healthcare but who could imagine that trained physicians could look at the same picture and come up with two different ideas of what is. I always thought there was a solution for everything. Who could possibly think they would tell me they couldn't just cut this cancer out and everything would just be normal again,. What is normal anyway? I had no idea that if you become disabled, there is a 6 month waiting period before you get any financial help. What do people do that are not married and have no family? Do they simply just fall between the cracks? I had no idea how strong my family is. I never imagined in all of my years that I would become the center of their attention. I have never ever wanted to be the center of attention. I would rather just mull thru and get past it by myself. I have learned that I need my family. I need their love, I even need their help. That is probably the toughest thing of all, learning to ask for help. I have learned I have amazing people praying for me and sending me positive vibes. I have learned as I said before that I am just a ant in this world, so small and yet I hope I have touched many. I know there is more than my earthly body waiting for me that I can not yet even imagine. I have learned to trust in God, as ultimately he knows my plan. I would love to be cancer free, but would never trade the love and knowledge I have received. I hope I have stopped someone else from getting cancer. I can go on all day about how I wish, I should have, but it's not going to change today, and today I am thankful to be able to type in my blog and to put my feelings out there. I still pray for miracle. I am a fighter and I will continue to fight. Deep inside I think, just give me a chance and I will show everyone what a fighter I am, but then I already know they already know that. I am thankful for today, because none of us are promised tomorrow.