Frustration, its all I can really describe how things are going right now. I am sitting here typing this update for Tami as she lay here on the bathroom floor not much different than at home trying to get things moving and trying to not have so much pain. Sure she is getting some better pain meds and more attention than I can give at home, but I would have thought she would be more comfortable and it just seems as bad, or worse considering where we are.
Tami's stomach is bloated like she is smuggling a football, at times its not so bad, but mostly bloated, they haven't done much for that, I dont understand why. I think perhaps this ilesotomy will be a solution, but then will it? I sit here watching her suffer and moan in agony, and all I can tell her to do is push the pain pump, push the pain pump, maybe if she gets enough meds she can sleep for a couple hours.
DMH has been wonderful for the most part, the LPN today is great, she is what a nurse should be, her name is Kristin, and she is just wonderful, I wont go to detailed, but she treats Tami like her best friend, like someone she cares about. The RN, well, she needs some work, and trust me, its rare we get a nurse here that we dont like but I just get tired of justifying everything Tami wants that isn't "ordered" or stuff that was ordered but has dropped off the schedule due to their system. Tami doesn't want an enema because she loves having strange people help her pass stool, she wants comfort and these help at times. No Tami shouldn't be going downstairs to go outside, but you know what, anything she does that is a crutch really isn't going to hurt where she is now, so you know what, dont worry about it.
Anyways, as far as an update goes this doesn't help alot, she is still trying to get her head around a bag on her side. I cant blame her, its a tough call, maybe this procedure will help, maybe it wont, maybe she will have less pain, maybe she will have more, maybe she will live 3 months, maybe more, maybe not.... It's hard for me to look her in the eyes and give her an opinion, an opinion I dont even know I could come up with if it were me. Sometimes I think the best answer would be to pick her up, take her home, cuddle up in bed with the puppies and just forget any of this happened, and let what happens happen.
Tami is one tough girl, just now, even at her weakest, and even in pain she makes me smile. She said to tell everyone to send brownies, and I doubt she was kidding.
Psychic Kids
14 years ago
6 comments:
Norm, cuddling up in bed with the puppies sounds good. I wish we had some good advice for you but those decisions are so hard. I'm sure, like everything, there are pros and cons to the ilesotomy. Three months of quality life is what my mother had last year and it was three of the best months we ever had and so worth it. Fortunately she had a hospice nurse that knew every trick in the book for managing someone in that situation and a doctor that was willing to let her call the shots. I'd give anything if the Lord would put someone in Tami's life to do the same.
Thank goodness for nurses like Kristin. That's one more thing I can pray for...that Tami will get kind and compassionate caregivers that will strive to keep her comfortable.
Another thing I want Tami to know is that my determination to take her advice is working and I'm enjoying my life and family more. It's a gradual process for a workaholic but I refuse to backslide. My health has suffered so much and I'm the only one that can change it but she is the motivation. Please give Tami a hug for me...Love, Brenda
Thanks for the update Norm - know that you and Tami are on my mind and in my prayers. I can't head up to see Tami til Saturday .... I will bring brownies.
Blessings
Nanc
You really should check out DCA treatment before it gets too late. I researched DCA quite thoroughly for a friend and everything seems to be valid science, not a hokey shark cartilage scam. Here is a site that explains all:
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The clinic http://www.medicorcancer.com/ in Toronto offers DCA treatments and they can deal with you without having to be there in person.
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Sending virtual brownies (the really really good kind) and wishing you the best.
-- the lounge queen
Norm: please let Tami know that she is in my thoughts and prayers always. in my mind the best thing for Tami right now is just what you are doing. lots and lots of love and support. this is the best thing. don't know much about ilestomies but maybe that is the way to go. working around the hospital setting for so many years I have learned there are really good nurses and there are some that have possibly chosen the wrong proffesion. but we all have our days. give Tami my best and a great big hug. Love Barb
I've never prayed harder - in my whole life - for both of you. Am also sending useless hugs and kisses, but tis all I have today.
The ileostomy might be the answer for some relief and comfort. My MIL had colon surgery years ago and managed with one(the ileostomy bag) for 10 years. She did just fine with it - and she spent an extra half hour in the bathroom in the morning "taking care of herself" - she called it. My own Mom had the same cancer surgery - with mucho feet of the colon taken out - she did not have the "bag"...but this also stopped her from enjoying restaurant meals and outings with the family. We were constantly in search of nearby bathrooms - because everything would "go straight thru" as my Mom used to say. Many times we daughters "wished" that our Mom had - had the option to have "the bag."
Am so hoping this is one of the "immediate answers" for Tami.
Thanx for keeping us posted, Norm.
from Rosemary
Norm, I'm sorry I didn't call back the other day,I got side tracked with one of the grand baby's. Give Tami and yourself a big hug from me. The two of you are in my prayers.
Love ya
Debbie
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