6 months...

So for those of you not on my Facebook, here is a link to a little video I put together.

Tribute to Tami

As well, here is a link to the Kenny Wallace Fan car he ran in Montreal this weekend, I had Tami's name put on there, and she ended up top row, almost in the middle on the hood, pretty cool.

Kenny Wallace Fan Car

So here we are at 6 months, it still boggles my mind that we are, one, even here doing this, two that I have been doing it for 6 months. I really braced myself for the 28th. I mean really prepped myself for the worst. I was kinda down most of the week, then come Friday morning, I woke up to a gloomy rainy day and thought, Tami would be pissed that I am giving this day any credit at all, and she would be right. It's tough not to count, but then I am doing what she told me not to do, and that is to keep living in cancer.

I feel like I might have turned a corner Friday, of course soon as I say that I will be curled up in the corner in the fetal position, but right now I feel like I want to move forward, I want to start living with the tings I learned from this whole experience, to take what good is possible out of this and make myself a better person. That doesn't mean I stop thinking about, loving or remembering Tami. Heck I will never stop loving Tami, anyone that might come into my life in the future will have to accept that, and to be honest I wouldn't want any friends in my life that couldn't understand and/or accept that. I am who I am today because of Tami, nothing can change that now.

So I think I want to move forward, stop letting cancer have anymore of my life, remember the good and happy times me and Tami shared, open myself to enjoy good and happy times now, and create good and happy times for my freinds and family. Tami beat cancer, not how she wanted to, she would have rather beat it and stayed with all of us, but that wasn't in the cards, and she beat it the only way she could. She doesn't have cancer anymore, she isn't in pain, or taking poison, she beat cancer.

I want to continue to honor Tami when and where I can, I think the best way to do that now is to show how much of a better person I am having known her. I learned so much about myself, good and bad, and I hope to make sure I remember all those lessons going forward.