Inspired

So Liz's response to my last post has inspired me to thank some people that either I haven't taken the time to, haven't had a chance to, or haven't thanked enough. Now this is just a partial list, and by no means could I thank everyone that help me and Tami out in one blog post. As well, this isn't in any order nor is it meant to say anyone was more appreciated than anyone else, so no hurt feelings if I dont include you, anyone that did anything, from a simple card to whatever has my thanks and gratitude for life, I'm just not good and following thru on these things, so I am gonna give it a shot today, why now, cuz I rather not focus on the coming week.

So Liz Hunter, I am gonna start with you as you inspired this post. I know how much you meant to Tami how much of a freind you were to her during her treatments. That you two talked alot and shared alot, me and Tami were best friends, and didn't feel the need to have a lot of friends outside of that. That was all well and good when things were fine, but when we started going through all this we found out that friends weren't a bad thing to have. I know that Tami was able to talk with Liz when she needed to talk to someone, and that someone outside the family sometimes has a different perspective, and I knew Tami greatly appreciated this. I know that Liz was a true friend to Tami and that Tami could trust her to be there for her. I found out the hard way that some people that claim to be freinds aren't always as true, but thats for another post. Anyways, as we got near the end Liz was a huge help to both of us, she was there when we needed someone and she did things that I didn't expect of her, and I cant say enough how much I appreciate it. Liz I am not good about returning calls, I haven't ignored one from you, believe it or not I just missed them. I am sorry I haven't talked to you in the past 6 months, you deserve better from me, and I am very grateful that you were in our lives.

My big sisters, Sherry and Deb (actually Tami's sisters but dont tell). Both of you are very different, and were there for us and me in very different ways, but every moment you gave to us was special and I cant thank you both enough for all of it. Deb, your phone calls always brought a smile to my face even at the lowest points. The support you gave me I could never repay in a million years. Sherry, all the times you came down to help Tami, to take her to appointments or near the end to just be with her, I cant explain how much that meant to us, and how much that help not just Tami but me. The trip to Mayo ended crappy but the journey was at least bearable with your love and support. The support you gave not only Tami, but me was so huge I cant put into words what it meant, you didn't have to be there for me, you dont have to be there for me, but you were, and still are and I cant ever thank you enough. The dinners, the trips, the benefit, Grubbyland Candles, all of it. Thank You.

Sarah, my daughter. I dont know what it was, or why, but she was my little girl from the day I met her Feb 7th, 1995. I dont know why or how, and I can look back on the times that things were a little rough, she didn't make it easy for me, trust me. But then again what teenager makes it easy on their parents anyways? I know I made it rough for mine many times. But I dont think I really understood what our relationship had become till all this happened with her mom. She was there for me as much as she was for her mom, she allowed me the honor of walking her down the asile at her wedding, when I needed someone to talk to she was and is there for me, when I needed it she shows me tough love, I always worried that I would never feel that unconditional love you have with a child, because I was just a step father, she proved me wrong on that, that I could make mistakes and she wouldn't disown me, that I am her father, and she is my daughter. I dont know how I would have made it through these past few months without her around. And I cant thank her enough for all she has done for me, and for being Sarah.

Nancy Hoover, Nancy is a character, I need only tell the story of my first encounter with her at OSP, remember Nancy? The phone call you had me make? yeah, no worries I wont go into it. Tami loved Nancy since the time they started talkin after Tami started making candles, they became friends, and when all this began, Nancy was a big help were she could be. Anytime anything went on at work, after Tami made sure I was okay, she would always ask about Nancy. I know that Nancy did a lot to help us out where she could and that she talked with Tami quite a bit as well. Nancy also came over to stay with Tami in the end, and I know how much Tami appreciated everything you did for us. I hide a lot of stuff from OSP, saying things were going okay when they might not have been as okay as I let on, but in the end Nancy really helped us out, and even now keeps on trying to help, and I am still as stubborn as ever, luckily Nancy has got me beat on the stubborn front.

Vicki Maurer, I hope I spelled her last name right. Vicki works with Dr Benson at Northwestern in Chicago. Now anyone that knows me, knows how critical I am of medical personnel, nurses, doctors, etc. There are many that we encountered that I would not take my dogs to if there was an emergency. That is not to say there weren't good, great people out there as well. Vicki was great, if not the greatest person we came across. Its hard to find light in the darkness of chemo treatments, but Vicki made them bearable, she made herself available for us anytime, even when we called with a problem or request she did her very best to make those requests happen. I wish I had never met anyone in this cancer field, but because I had to, I am glad that Vicki was part of that. And I stand by one of my last statements to Dr Benson, she deserves a big fat raise. I pray that no one has to go thru what we have gone thru, but I know the fact is that some will. If you are lucky, you will have an angel like Vicki taking care of you or your loved one. One day I will get back up there and thank her in person.

Mom & Dad, everyone expects their parents to do everything they can for you, not everyone has parents that will. I do, they have been nothing but perfect thru everything I have been thru, not just for me, their son, but Tami as well. I know Tami felt loved, and that Tami felt as if they were her parents as well. In the last 2 years, they came down a total of 3 times from Canada to help us out, the last time at little more than a moments notice to be here for me and Tami when she slipped away. Tami got her favorite mom meal just days before she passed away, and I can imagine having been alone in the days after. I dont thank my parents enough, but they dont do it for the thanks, they just do it because that's who they are. If I am half the man my dad is, I'll be doin okay in life.

There was so many more people I could and will thank in time, this is just a small list of those people, and I hope people see this for just that, and that if I didnt list you yet, that your help is not appreciated.

This will be a tough week, everyone tells me not to count the days, or mark the dates, I cant help it, it just pops up.

As a side note, and at the risk of sounding a little crazy, I think I heard Tami on Saturday night, just a word, but I think it was her. Least that's my story, and I am sticking with it...